Improve Your Marital Relationship

According to a recent study on relationships conducted at the University of North Carolina, when you start trying to avoid fights or disagreements with your partner, you unconsciously begin to feel fearful of them. At this point, your relationship starts to lose its true meaning, and you find yourself, whether you want to or not, drifting apart from your partner. You begin to lose sight of the positive aspects of your relationship, and even when you are physically close, you feel very distant.

Avoid Blame Games

Refrain from constantly blaming each other. Don’t focus on proving yourself right while your partner is wrong; instead, sometimes own up to each other’s mistakes together. Avoid getting into the habit of proving one person right or wrong, as once the blame game starts, it does not easily end. Whether someone is proven right or wrong, a crack will inevitably appear in the relationship.

Don’t Insist on Changing Your Partner's Habits
Avoid insisting on changing your partner’s habits, especially if you’re not making positive changes in yourself. Don’t turn unfulfilled desires into stubbornness and repeatedly bring them up. When pointing out your partner’s shortcomings or mistakes, never give examples from a third person. This unnecessary hostility, hatred, and jealousy will eventually take on a permanent form between you both.

Avoid Arguments Based on Personal Assumptions
Never initiate arguments based on your personal suspicions or doubts, as your thoughts may later turn out to be incorrect. Therefore, don’t be overly clever.

Listen to Your Partner’s Concerns
Take time to listen to your partner’s worries and issues. Make your partner feel that you are ready to hear them out and that you are serious about solving the problems that are troubling them, no matter how trivial or insignificant those issues may seem to you. This will foster a sense of belonging and importance in your partner.

Participate in Your Partner’s Favorite Activities
Even if it’s just a little, make sure to participate in your partner’s favorite activities. This will encourage them. Keep your partner informed about your outdoor successes and joys. This will bring them happiness and confidence, and they will feel a sense of ownership in your happiness.

For Mental Harmony
Be sure to help your partner with tasks that only you can perform as a marital partner. Assist in solving a problem that you are skilled at, and your partner is aware of your expertise.

These small tips can play a significant role in strengthening your relationship. Remember, a home is built on these small things.

Reference:

The 6 Stages of Marriage

Science pinpoints

Sigmund Freud: The Father of Psychoanalysis

Psychoanalysis is my creation. For ten years, I wrestled with it alone. The anger it incited among my contemporaries was something I bore in silence, facing objections on my own. Now that others have entered this field, I believe I have the right to assert that no one understands psychoanalysis better than I do.

Psychoanalysis involves probing the states of one's own mind and uncovering the fissures that have emerged in human thought. It aims to access the patient's unconscious and bring it back into consciousness. The method of psychoanalysis involves having the patient lie comfortably on a couch and instructing them to enter a state of introspection, freely expressing the thoughts that come to mind one after another without hesitation.Freud developed a geographical hypothesis of the human mind, dividing it into three parts:

Consciousness: the most active part of the mind, representing reason.
Preconscious: the part associated with general memory.
Unconscious: the segment of the mind that holds emotions, drives, and theories linked to anxiety, conflict, and pain. According to Freud, the unconscious is far larger than consciousness but often remains hidden from us; we occasionally access it through dreams.

Freud argued that these three components are not physical parts of the brain but rather aspects of mental processes.He adopted talk therapy with his patients, emphasizing that attentive listening to a patient's discourse reveals much about their unconscious. These insights were revolutionary. Freud employed free association to draw forth hidden thoughts from his patients' unconscious.One notable case was Anna O., a patient suffering from hysteria, which was common in Europe at the time. While being treated by Joseph Breuer, she became infatuated with him. One day, she informed Breuer that she was pregnant and claimed she would tell everyone that he was the father.Breuer, a man of integrity, was alarmed. Fearing scandal due to his wife and children, he left town. When Freud began treating Anna O., he realized she was not actually pregnant; her claims were symptomatic of her psychological condition.During treatment, it became apparent that she lacked time to meet her fiancé due to caring for her elderly father. Breuer noticed that when Anna described her home situation, her symptoms began to diminish. He concluded that her illness stemmed from a clash between romantic longing and duty.

When she vented her frustrations fully, she felt relief. Freud, who was present during these sessions and observing closely, concluded that if a patient could express their innermost thoughts, their hysterical symptoms could be alleviated.From his psychological research, Freud deduced that hysteria primarily affects women who repress their sexual feelings and desires into their unconscious. This repression creates a struggle between consciousness and the unconscious; an entangled unconscious gradually becomes a volcano ready to erupt at any moment. Over time, Freud developed psychological treatments for hysteria and successfully treated many patients. Eventually, he and Breuer co-authored a paper on hysteria.Freud named his therapeutic approach "Psychoanalysis." He discovered that patients transfer their past emotions and feelings onto their therapist, evaluating their present through the lens of the past—an act that distances them from reality. As patients free themselves from past biases through therapy, they become more prepared to accept present realities and begin to heal.Freud proposed that emotions and feelings deemed distressing by the human mind are pushed into the unconscious where they linger for long periods, eventually disturbing individuals at some point. For such unfulfilled or incomplete desires, Freud identified an interesting method called "sublimation," which allows individuals to channel these desires into constructive outlets—such as taking up wrestling if one has aggressive tendencies.Freud's research on dreams revealed their psychological significance.Although Freud did not receive any awards in medicine or science during his lifetime, he was honored with the Goethe Award for literature. He had a profound interest in literature; his concept of the Oedipus Complex is derived from Greek literature.According to Freud, repressed sexual desires often play a fundamental role in the emergence of mental illnesses like neuroses.He believed that poets, writers, playwrights, and novelists intuitively grasp these secrets of human psychology through their observations and experiences long before psychologists and scientists uncover them in their studies.Freud's controversial theories included the Oedipus Complex theory which posits that children feel attraction towards their opposite-sex parent. While many praised Freud's theories, others criticized them heavily; this theory has generally been discredited.His assertion that women are merely incomplete men has also been proven false. At one point he wrote: “There are only three types of relationships with women: as a mother who gives birth; as a companion or lover; or as one who destroys.” Alternatively, one could argue that a mother embodies all three roles as she ages—she is first a mother, then becomes a lover with maternal qualities visible in her demeanor, and ultimately becomes Mother Earth who conceals her children within her embrace.

One prominent critic of Sigmund Freud was Burrhus Frederic Skinner (March 20, 1904 – August 18, 1990).Skinner himself was a behaviorist who believed in examining human behavior directly. His theory was straightforward: how can we base our investigations on something as elusive as the unconscious when we can directly observe behavior and actions?Freud was born into a Jewish family but openly criticized religious beliefs.He argued that as science expands its influence, religion's domain will contract.

Freud's father married a nineteen-year-old girl when he was forty years old; Freud was born on May 6th, 1856 in what is now the Czech Republic. Examining Freud's childhood reveals psychological complexities inherited from his upbringing—his youthful mother was much younger than his father which evoked sympathy for her struggles within him; on the other hand stood his rigidly religious father. This early exposure likely instilled in him an aversion to religion. When he was four years old, his family moved to Vienna where he pursued higher education and eventually became a doctor practicing there.

Aside from psychoanalysis itself, one constant companion for Freud was his ever-burning cigar. Though it caused him harm—leading to mouth cancer—he continued to smoke throughout his life prioritizing desire over reason despite undergoing multiple surgeries. Ultimately he pleaded with his doctor Max Schur to increase his morphine dosage under euthanasia guidelines so he could end his life peacefully. Freud passed away on September 23rd, 1939.